gentle personal growth for recovering overachievers

gentle personal growth

There's no need to push, as if growth is something to be achieved with gold stars. Relax into the process. Accepting our messy, flawed selves is the basis from which our transformation blossoms.

Accepting the messiness of human existence is the basis for finding peace in the whole of our experience,

from the lowest lows to highest highs.

Tired of working so hard to keep it all together?

Hungering for a little tenderness towards yourself?

Ready for a more easeful, self-accepting way to navigate

the hard times and hard feelings that we all inevitably face?

Join my free Substack newsletter & GET weekly support in your inbox.

Each Tuesday, I share purposeful practices, revealing research,

and relatable reflections on living whole, raw, and real.

Paid subscribers can also chat with the Messy Human community,

receive monthly reflection prompts, love notes, and more.

How to messy Human

It’s okay to stop the self-shaming. It’s not helping you be better, I promise. Sometimes you're in the shit, and that's totally fine. Scream, cry, stomp your feet. Feel the badness.

Biologically, emotions only last 90 seconds. You'll get through this. Let it out. Breathe through it. Dance or jiggle or shake or shout. And remember to love yourself exactly as you are, right now, big bad feelings and all.

Love the mess, the imperfect, and the unfinished. Wrap your arms around your failures and send some big fat adoration to all your flaws.

If you find a way to love and accept what exists right now, it’s the fastest way to free yourself from it, paving the way for growth.

It's magical when you discover you can be messy and still show up without shame. Instead of playing the game, see if you can change it.

You can be an imperfect human and still lead others. You can feel crappy and still be lovable. You can make mistakes, forgive yourself, and be forgiven.

You can even sleep on your own circadian rhythm no matter that some CEO wakes up at 4am or some genius does her best work by staying up all night.

Embracing your own flawed humanity and that of others without judgement might just be the ticket to creating rituals of connection. You may open up more space for play and creativity.

Guess, what? It’s possible to transform your badness into badassery. When you work with your feelings, you'll elevate quickly.

You can notice and name your feelings, then give yourself space to ask what information these feeling guides are giving you. Do you need to speak up or take action?

If you choose to embrace your messiness as a source of useful information you can unlock greater capacity to do what needs to be done.

You can shift from reactive, difficult moments back to equanimity and calm more quickly. You can set kind boundaries and own your choices.

I write about hard won lessons in my own life that you'll probably recognize.

I sprinkle in my fascination with psychology, brain science, leadership, emotions, and more.

My mind keeps getting blown when ancient wisdom and modern scientific findings converge.

So I write about that too.

Join a community of like-minded friends as we let go of old "achievement" checklists

and re-define success on our own terms.

Receive weekly support, right in your inbox.

Each Tuesday, I share purposeful practices, revealing research,

and relatable reflections on living whole, raw, and real.

Paid subscribers can also chat with the Messy Human community,

receive monthly reflection prompts, love notes, and more.

Get to Know Marisol

I'm a writer who believes in gentle personal growth. I love it when modern science and ancient spiritual practices intersect. I discovered the hard way we can't make real progress till we lovingly accept our reality today, warts and all.

Lots of people ask me if I'm actually messy. "You seem so on top of things," they'll say, and it's true, I am, some of the time. But I am also messy.

I have big, messy feelings that aren't always the pleasant ones. Sometimes I react emotionally, instead of responding mindfully, like I wish I would. I have a messy history, involving plenty of messy choices that upended my life many times.

Being messy is part of being human, so if, as you read this, you're thinking how at least you've got your shit together, welcome to Earth, traveler from afar.

with The Messy Human it's my goal to be your playful guide, inspiring your full transformative potential